Runaway Groom
by Seether179
Summary: Jess was beginning to feel very cornered. He was finding it hard to breath as his throat started to feel small. Thinking about another woman on your wedding day wasn't normal. JessRory
1. Running Scared

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls

**A/N:** So this story pretty much follows the story lines from the show. The only AU-ness about it would be anything form season 7. Since I live in Australia I have yet to see season 7 so I can't exactly write to keep it in tact.

Rory/Jess completely. Go the Lit!

I don't have a beta sorry.

So on with the story...

**Runaway Groom**

Chapter 1: Running Scared

This was completely normal. It was more then normal it was somewhat expected. Everyone felt nervous on their wedding day, this was nothing different. It would pass eventually. Once he was standing in his position and he saw her walking towards him this fear would disappear and be replaced by happiness. The nauseating feeling would leave him and he would feel content. His fingers would stop twitching with un-ease and his heart would stop pounding a thousand times per second. Everything would be fine once it started. This was just pre-wedding jitters, nothing more. Normal, it was completely normal.

Her family believed they were made for each other. That they suited each other like butter and bread. Going by that example he assumed he was the butter. They loved him like the son they never had. He had no idea why he wasn't exactly the ideal guy parents wanted their daughter to date. Most parents would bring out a baseball bat if their daughter brought him home, but not hers. They were interested in his writing and what he liked to do. They had made a great effort to make him feel welcome in their house. He on the other hand had yet to introduce her to any of his family. He had told her that he wasn't very close to them. She insisted she meet them before the wedding and that he invite them, so he lied. He told her he had called them and they had told him they were all to busy. She had been upset on his behalf saying that he deserved a better family then that. He had felt very bad about that. He wasn't sure why he didn't want them to know or come. Well that was a lie as well. He knew why he didn't want them to know. He just couldn't admit it to himself.

His mother knew he had been dating Katie. He had mentioned her a few times on the very few occasions they talked on the phone. He wasn't sure if she had mentioned her to Luke or not. When he and Luke talked on the phone Luke never brought it up if he did know. He was kind of wishing he had told his uncle and that he was here right now. He and Luke had a strained relationship to say the least but in the last few years they had managed to over come it. Now he wished he had someone to talk to about the way he was feeling. A father figure to help him deal with his nerves. His own father Jimmy had turned out to be a big disappointment and Luke was still the closet thing he had to an actual father. He really hoped Luke would not be hurt that he wasn't invited when he found out about the wedding. Jess assumed he would find out eventually.

Katie was beautiful. He had thought so the second he had seen her. She had dusty blonde hair and big bright brown eyes, a slender figure and a personality to much her looks. She was the sweetest girl. Jess often wondered what she saw in him. He was often rude and very guarded. She let her heart hang on her sleeve, she gave everyone a chance. With Jess you had to prove yourself before he would let you in even a little. But he and Katie seemed to compliment each other. When he was around her he was a lot better with being nice and social towards people. She calmed him down when his editor was pissing him off. She seemed to bring out the best in him. Katie was wonderful, sweet and beautiful but she was completely different to Rory.

"Rory" Her name left his lips in a whisper. She was like a giant elephant in the room that he tried to ignore. No matter what he was doing or where he was over the last 10 years she was always there with him. He always figured if he just met the right person her ghost would fade away. Then he had met Katie. The thought of Rory had not disappeared, but he pushed it away. Figuring if he pushed her away for long enough she would some how just be gone. It had worked for a while too. She was still there but only in the back ground. But as the wedding got closer thoughts of Rory also got closer to the surface. He started thinking about her again. He tried to deny it even as he was thinking it. His brain was a river in Egypt.

"Hey man. 10 minutes" His friend Greg told him.

"Okay. I just need a few minutes alone" Jess told him. Greg gave him a reassuring smile before leaving him to his thoughts.

Jess was beginning to feel very cornered. He was finding it hard to breath as his throat started to feel small. Telling himself that this was normal over and over wasn't really helping either. The more he said it to himself the less he believed it. Thinking about another woman on your wedding day wasn't normal. Or at least it shouldn't be. He should be thinking about how wonderful it will be to start a life with Katie. Not about his sadness and regret for never getting that second chance with Rory. Rory was the reason he didn't tell Luke about the wedding. He knew it he just didn't want to face it. He didn't want her to know he was getting married and he knew if Luke knew it would only be so long before it got back to her. It was a horrible thing to do. Not invite your closest family to your own wedding because you didn't want your ex-girlfriend to know about it.

This was so wrong. He felt a guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He shouldn't be thinking about Rory. It wasn't fair to Katie. But he couldn't help it. When he tried to see Katie all he saw was her. Her beautiful crystal blue eyes. He shiny brown hair. Her tempting lips. She had full on invaded his mind now and had caused an in-ward war with himself. But it was the same battle he always lost. Weather he liked it or not a part of him would always love Rory and wonder what could have been. Maybe it was because they never had any real closure. He wasn't sure. The last time they had seen each other was at Luke and Lorelai's wedding. It had been very casual and they had not talked much. She had congratulated him on his second book, which had been much more successful then the first. He had told her he was happy she graduated from Yale. That was pretty much it. They didn't talk about Logan or the kiss that had happened in Philadelphia. He had a hundred things he had wanted to say to her but it just hadn't been the right time. And as always he had left feeling his heart ache for a relationship that had been long over.

He knew it wasn't right to marry someone when you loved someone else. He knew that he couldn't go through with this. Not with the way he was feeling at this very moment. He would never forgive him self if he did marry Katie. And he was sure she would never forgive him either. It would never work out. He would end up resenting her because she wasn't Rory. It had nothing to do with her and it wasn't her fault. It was just the way things were. The sad truth of it was he had been using Katie to try and get over Rory. He had not done it on purpose but that didn't make any less wrong of him.

He almost vomited at the thought of her standing there in her white dress smiling happily with her family as the minutes ticked on. He was so angry at himself for letting things get this far. He should have been honest with him self from the very start. He had just wanted to move on from the past so much. He had forced this lie on to him self and now other people were going to get hurt.

He was scared. He had never wanted any of this to happen and now that it was time to stop this he was scared. He didn't know what to say or how to say it. No matter what he did he was now the bad guy. That horrible guy that canceled the wedding ten minutes before it began because he was in love with another girl. He didn't know how he was going to face Katie. How he was going to tell her. She was going to be devastated. She would cry, he knew this. He couldn't bear to see her cry. To see tears that he was the cause of.

That's when he spotted the window. He couldn't. That would be even worse then what he was doing now. He shook his head with inward disgust as he paced around the room trying to decided what to do next. Seconds were ticking by and he was running out of time to do this. He wished he wasn't such a wimp. That he was braver. He wished he could just go to Katie and tell her the truth. He wished he wasn't afraid. He looked at the window again. He moved towards it and felt his very last shred of self respect disappear as he popped it open. He then walked back to the table and picked up a pen and a pieace of paper. He scribbled _'I'm so sorry Katie. I couldn't do it. I never wanted to hurt you and I just hope one day you can forgive me. I'm sorry, Jess'_.

He was an idiot. He was horrible. He was an ass and he was a cowered. He was a 27 year old man who was about to crawl out of a window to escape his own wedding. It was most likely the most immature thing he would do during his adult life. But he just couldn't face all the people out there in the church. He had never hated him self as much as he did at this very moment.

"Your an unimaginable prick" He told him self as he climbed out of the window having no idea what to do next or what the future held for him.

**TBC**

**A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviews are always appreciated :)


	2. Return To Stars Hollow

**Disclaimer:** I sadly do not own Gilmore Girls

**A/N:** Thanks for your reviews :) No beta again sorry...

**Chapter 2:** Return To Stars Hollow

"Ceaser!" Luke yelled out as he placed a cup of coffee in front of Kirk. "I need that Tuna Melt."

"Hold your horses!" Ceaser yelled back. A few seconds later the Tuna Melt was sitting in the window.

"Thanks" Luke replied sarcastically as he took the Tuna Melt and placed it in front of the gentleman that had ordered it.

"Luke" Luke heard a small voice behind him say. He turned around and was surprised to see Jess standing there.

"Jess, hey" Luke said as he smiled. He always wished he could see his nephew more often. But due to Jess's history in this town he rarely visited. Luke found it hard with the diner and Lorelai to find the time to go and see him in Philadelphia. "Wow this is a surprise. What are you doing here... And why are you wearing a suit?" Luke had just noticed Jess's very formal appearance.

"I don't want to talk about it" Jess told him. He looked around the diner. It hadn't changed, it never changed. In a weird way that was kind of comforting. It was nice to be around something familiar.

"Okay" Luke said slowly as he tried to figure out what was going on. He had nothing. He and Jess just stood there looking at each other for a few seconds before Luke got tired of the silence. "Do you want something to drink or eat?"

"No" Jess simply answered. He placed the bag he had on the ground. He had quickly gone to his and Katie's place to pack up a few items of clothing, some books and his lap top. He had no idea why he had come here. He just needed to get away from everything in Philadelphia. He needed time to sought out his head.

"Are you okay, you like terrible?" Luke said to him as he took in his nephew's appearance. He looked tired and he was visibly upset. Luke's curiosity was getting the better of him but he decided it was best just to leave it for now.

"I need to sleep. Do you mind if I stay here a few days?" Jess asked him. Jess never liked to ask for anything from anyone but he couldn't help but look up at Luke with desperate eyes. He needed to escape and this was the only place he could think of.

"Of course" Luke told him. Now he was really worried he had never seen Jess looking so lost before. "I obviously don't live up stairs anymore but your welcome to stay there as long as you want."

"Thanks. I'm going go up now then" Jess told him with a nod of appreciation as he picked his bag up and made his way up stairs.

Luke just watched him go up with a stunned expression on his face. He had no idea what to think of all of this. It was just so random. But Jess was always one for surprises. This had not been the first time he had just turned up in Stars Hollow with no warning. But that was along time ago back when he was seventeen. Luke talked to him about once a month on the phone now and he always seemed fine.

"He doesn't seem so scary in a suit" Kirk commented as he sipped his coffee.

"Shut up Kirk" Luke replied in a gruff voice as he went back to work. He would have to figure out the Jess mystery later.

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Jess sat down and sighed as he ran his hand through his messy hair. He needed to take a shower and get some sleep. He also needed to call his editor, Ted and let him know what was going on. He also really needed to call Katie.

He didn't even want to think about it anymore, he has spent the whole time getting here basically calling him self bad names and trying to work up the nerve to at least call her and try to explain what had happened. He knew that she would be beyond up-set. Maybe she didn't want to talk to him. He couldn't blame her if she didn't. If there was away to escape himself right now he would. She most likely never wanted to see him again and if that was they way she felt then it was for the better. She could do better then him. She needed to find someone that would truly love her in the way she deserved.

He looked around at the apartment and laughed bitterly. This place had so many memories of him and Rory. He had not even thought of that when he asked Luke if he could stay here. He had just needed to go some where far away from where he was. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be reminded of Rory at this particular point in time. He had just walked out on his bride to be. It wasn't really right to be thinking about Rory when he had just done such a horrible thing. But then again thinking about Rory was really nothing compared to climbing out of a window and only leaving a note.

He still could not believe that he did that. It was such a heartless thing to do. He had done many horrible things in his life, mainly when he was younger. But this really topped the cake.

Sometimes he really wished his mother had not sent him here in the first place. If she hadn't sent him here then he would have never met Rory. Rory had been the worst and the best thing to happen to him all wrapped in one. She plagued his life making it impossible to live but at the same time she was the one that made him want to be better and do better. He wondered if still would have become an author if had not met her. He figured most likely not.

He slowly slipped into a state of sleep as his thoughts of Rory swirled around in his head.

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"My manly man is home" Lorelai said in a damsel voice as Luke walked into their house. Luke gave her an awkward smile in response. "What's going on?" Lorelai knew that Look. It was the look Luke got when ever he really didn't want to tell her something.

"I have a guest staying in the apartment above the diner" He told her as he shifted uncomfortably.

"So... It's not Rachel is it?" Lorelai said with a slightly concerned voice. She and Luke were married now and she knew that he loved her but sometimes a girl couldn't help but get jealous.

"No. It's Jess" He replied as he cringed slightly waiting for the storm to start.

"Okay. Cool" Lorelai replied as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Your not mad" Luke observed with confusion. Lorelai and Jess didn't exactly have the greatest history with each other.

"Oh come on Luke" Lorelai told him, "That's all in the past. Yes he broke my daughters heart and I didn't exactly respond well to that. But we were fine at the wedding. We talked and everything. I actually kind of like grown up Jess. I like him a hell of lot more then I liked adolescent Jess."

"Oh" Luke said with a surprised tone. "I thought you two were just being nice to each other cause it was our wedding."

"Well that was a big part of it. But it was actually some what pleasant. Trust me Luke all is good" Lorelai replied with a smile. It really was all in the past. Besides compared to Rory's ex Logan, Jess seemed like a dream boat. At least Jess had never got her arrested.

"Well good" Luke smiled at her. It was very rarely that Lorelai managed to surprise him but she just had. He walked over to her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Hello."

"Hello, my lovely husband" Lorelai said with a large grin. She still couldn't believe after all this time that she was happily married. "So now that your home could you do me a favor."

Luke looked at her. He knew what the expression on her face meant. "Where's the spider?"

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"Jess," Luke said as he walked into the apartment. He saw him laying on a chair dead asleep. He was still wearing the suit he had been wearing when he first walked into the diner. Luke walked up to him a softly shook him trying to wake him up.

"Shit" Jess said as he opened his eyes and saw his uncle standing over him. "Jeez Luke. Don't you know it dangerous to hover over a guy while he is sleeping."

"Sorry" Luke said as he took a few steps back to give Jess his space.

"What time is it?" Jess asked as he looked around the room trying to find a clock. He felt even more tired now then what he had before he had slept. Maybe fatigue was a side effect of being a giant jack ass.

"It's 7am" Luke told him.

"It's Sunday" Jess said surprised as he looked down at him self. He was still wearing the suit he was meant to get married in. It was rather depressing.

"Yep. You must have crashed out on the chair" Luke told him. He was still trying to work out what exactly was going on with him. "Jess what is going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Jess said in an annoyed tone as he got up. He grabbed his bag and searched for some cloths.

"Come on Jess. You show up here at of the blue asking to stay for a few days. You had to know I would ask why" Luke told him.

"I'm going for a shower" Jess replied as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Nice talking to you!" Luke yelled after him, his voice laced with sarcasm. Sometimes he marveled out how quickly Jess could transfer back to his teenage self. But he should have known not to ask. Jess was the type of person that would tell you things when he was ready to and not a minute before. Pushing him never got good results.

A few hours later Jess sighed as he looked at his cell phone. It was turned off. He had turned it off just after he had made his great escape. He didn't want to turn it back on. He knew there would be a thousand voice mail messages from various people trying to find out where he was and what had happened. He still couldn't face it.

He felt like going for a walk to clear his head but had decided against it. He really had no tolerance for the people in this town and they didn't particularly like him either. He also didn't know if Rory was here or not and he didn't have the state of mind to see her right now. He was still to messed up. If he saw her now he would end up being a dick to her. Tiredness and confusion brought out the worst in him. Luke was already seeing that. He felt bad that he wasn't being better to Luke. After all Luke had been kind a enough to give him shelter. But he just didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to tell anyone about the terrible thing he had just done.

He had already e-mailed his editor. He had told Ted where he was and that he would work on his book here for a while. He had mentioned that the wedding did not happen but he didn't get into specifics. Ted wouldn't ask. He wasn't really the caring kind of guy. All that mattered to him was deadlines and cash.

There was a light knock on the door. "Come in!" Jess yelled.

"Hello again" Luke said as he walked in slowly and sat down across from Jess. "We need to talk."

"Okay" Jess simply replied as he looked at his uncle. He could tell that Luke was thinking about things from the look of concentration on his face.

"Your mother just called." He said and waited a few seconds before continuing. "Katie found her number in one of your books. She rang your mother trying to find out where you are. Liz said she sounded frantic. Was going on about a wedding and a window. Now I know you don't want to talk about it but I think if you are going to stay here I need to know about what is going on."

"Okay" Jess repeated as he looked away. He couldn't believe that Katie had found his mother's number. He was stunned that she was looking for him. If it had been him he wouldn't have wanted to waste the time on someone that could hurt him like that. But Katie wasn't like him. She was always trying to see the best in people he could just see her sitting there trying to think of reasons to why he did what he did. Trying to find a way for him to not be the bad guy.

Luke was still looking at him waiting for him to start speaking. "So..." Luke prompted.

"So... I guess it always starts with Rory" Jess sighed. This was going to be a long day.

**TBC**

**A/N:** Thanks for reading. Also Rory turns up in the next one ;)


	3. Blue Eyed Girl

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls

**A/N:** Thanks so much for your reviews. No beta so sorry for any errors.

**Chapter 3:** Blue Eyed Girl

"Mom I'm home" Rory said with a huge grin when she saw her mother running towards her. Rory wrapped her arms around her and smiled blissfully as she and Lorelai shared their hug. "I've missed you."

"Not as much as I've missed you" Lorelai responded as she stepped back to get a good look at her. Rory had changed so much over the years but Lorelai still saw her as her little baby girl. Sweet innocent Rory who believed in fairy's and read books far to old for her.

"I doubt it" Rory replied as placed her bags down and sighed. She didn't have the energy to move them any further into the house. "The bags seem happy there. We should let them live in that spot from here on out."

"Or we could let them vacation there until Luke gets back" Lorelai said with a wicked smile.

"Good thinking ninety nine."

"So how long till you have to hit the road again?" Lorelai asked. Rory was a journalist just like she had wanted. She worked for a magazine, she traveled around a lot doing interviews and such. It wasn't Rory's dream job but it was more then enough at this point in her life.

"Three weeks, then I'm going to Canada" Rory told her.

"Canada. You'll have to go watch a hockey game."

"Yeah... Nah" Rory laughed as she pushed some of hair behind her ears. She always felt at home when she was around her mother. Like she was free to be herself. Lorelai always brought at the best in her and she was more then happy that her mother was also her best friend.

"So I have gossip" Lorelai told her as they both made their way to the kitchen. It was coffee time and there was no need to say it. Coffee was like air to them. Coffee was their god.

"Do tell" Rory said in an excited tone as she sat down on a kitchen chair.

"Jess is in town" Lorelai said as she watched Rory's face to see her reaction. Rory's face remained the same so she continued. "He just showed up. Luke has no idea why he's here. He's staying up stairs in the diner."

"Wow. Is he okay?" Rory asked her. Rory wasn't going to admit it but she had thought about Jess a lot over the years. She loved his book's. His writing had such heart and soul. She felt like she really knew him now. Not that she didn't know him when they were teenagers but there was always a side of himself that he wouldn't let anyone see and it seemed to come across in his books. Rory felt connected to him through words.

"Not sure. Luke hasn't told me much. He seemed fine at our wedding but that was a long time ago."

"Yeah. I wonder what's going on?" Rory said in a quiet voice.

"Are you okay with this?" Lorelai asked her. She was still watching her carefully.

"Yeah mom. I'm fine. It's been years since me and Jess were anything to each other, there's no bad feelings there anymore" Rory told her as she tried to look happy.

"Right" Lorelai said in a disbelieving tone.

"I'm serious so don't give me that tone young lady" Rory tried to keep a serious face but couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Young lady... I love the sound of that" Lorelai said with a happy grin.

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"Your over her" Jess said to himself as he looked at his reflection on the bathroom mirror. "You are over Rory Gilmore. Your just going to stay here for a few weeks and sort yourself out. Then your going to leave and get on with your life... Your talking to your self you idiot your not okay"

Jess continued to look at himself and then sighed in frustration. He had told Luke everything which had helped somewhat. It was hard to believe looking at him but Luke was a good listener and easy to talk too. He had told him that everything would be okay. That there was a better way to deal with the situation then climbing out of the window but if he didn't love Katie then not marrying her was the best thing to do in the end.

Jess was slowly starting to feel like himself again. Is still felt horrible and confused but it was slightly easier feeling this way then it had been the day before. After all when he was younger he was the king of screwing up. It was just like riding a bike, you never forget. He had been pretending in a way to be someone he wasn't for the last few years. It wasn't the get it together and get married guy. He was the dark brooding guy who always managed to make a bad situation worse. Or was he? He really wasn't sure anymore.

"Jess you up here!" He heard Luke yell from somewhere outside of the bathroom.

Jess walked out and saw Luke standing in the middle of the living room with a nervous look across his face. "What's up Luke?"

"There is something I need to tell you" Luke said to him as he shifted his foot, a nervous habit.

"So tell" Jess said after a few moments of silence.

"Rory is here. In town. She come's home whenever she has a bit of time off. I thought you should know" Luke said as he was waited for the insanity to start.

"Okay" Jess simply replied as he walked over to the table and picked up his laptop. "I think I might go for a walk. Find somewhere quiet and try to get some work done."

"Oh" Luke said as he watched Jess carefully. He seemed fine. "Well I'll see you later I guess."

"Yeah, later" Jess replied as he walked out.

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Rory sat on the bridge and looked at into the water. It was still and calm. Nothing like how she felt at the moment. Knowing that Jess was so close by was doing a number on her. She often thought of him but not like this. Moments form when they were both seventeen seemed to be playing over and over in her mind.

She was an adult now and had been in a few serious relationships. But nothing was ever as passionate as when she was with Jess, which was surprising since she was only a girl back then. All though they had never been physical together there had always been a strong desire between them. She had never wanted anyone more then she had wanted him. Not even Logan.

Jess was that person. The person she would always wonder about. Always thinking what if. What if he hadn't left? What is she had run away with him when he wanted to? What if when she went to Philadelphia more then just a kiss had happened? What if? That's what her and Jess were. One big what if. It was always the right person, wrong time with them.

But that was all in the past now. As much as she had loved and wanted him back then things were different now. Her mother and his uncle were married for one thing. And her and Jess never seemed to work, not matter how much she wanted him. The past was the past and she had to let go of it.

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"So I told Jess that Rory is here" Luke told Lorelai when she walked into the diner.

"How was that?" She asked as he placed a coffee in front of her and she smiled happily at him. He knew what she needed.

"He took it well... I think" Luke replied as a confused look crossed his face. He honestly wasn't sure how Jess was feeling at the moment. Jess was like a stone wall when it came to his emotions. And the wall very rarely came down.

"Well I guess that was to be expected. I mean him and Rory happened so long ago and they were fine with each other at the wedding. So I don't see why it would be a big deal. Rory took the news of Jess's arrival really good as well" Lorelai told him as she eyed off a chocolate chip muffin that Luke had on display.

"Yeah but there's some stuff I haven't told you about yet. It's all very complicated" Luke said to her as he picked up the muffin and placed it on a plate in front of her.

"Like what?"

"Well. I'm not sure if I should say anything. It's Jess stuff" Luke said as he looked around the room trying to avoid her gaze. Lorelai could get anything out of him if she tried hard enough.

"Yeah but I'm your wife. It's like in the contract that you have to tell me everything. Jess knows this he won't care" Luke gave her a look. "Okay so he might care but we could just not tell him you told me."

"I don't know" Luke said in a nervous tone as he thought about it. He really did want to tell her.

"Come on Luke. You know not knowing stuff kills me. If you didn't want me to know then you wouldn't have brought it up in the first place" Lorelai pointed out and grinned when she saw the look on his face. She knew she had won.

"Okay. Okay" Luke said as he poured more coffee into her cup. "Jess came here after he ran out on his wedding."

"What!" Lorelai cried as she spat some coffee at of her mouth. "Sorry. What, Jess is getting married?" She asked again as she wiped some coffee of his sleeve.

"He was meant to. But not anymore. He climbed out of a window to escape" Luke told her as he was wiping the mess she had made from the counter.

"He climbed out of a window. God he must have been even more freaked then me when I did my runner from Max" Lorelai commented as she thought about it.

"He just knew that Katie. The bride, wasn't the right girl for him. You should have seen his face when he was telling me about it. It feels so bad about everything."

"It was Rory wasn't it" Lorelai said sadly.

"What was Rory?" Luke asked her.

"He's still in love with her. That's why he ran" Lorelai stated. She didn't need to ask. As much as she never liked Jess back then she knew that boy had it bad for her daughter.

"Yeah" Luke simply replied.

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Jess walked slowly towards the only place in Stars Hollow that he felt really comfortable in. He sighed as he contemplated having the smoke that was sitting in his shirt pocket. He and smoking had a very on/off relationship but he had never truly given up. Sort of like he had never really given up on Rory and himself. A part of him always hoped they would some how be together again.

"Jess" He heard a small voice interrupt him from his thoughts. He looked up to see Rory sitting in the very spot he was heading too. He tried to smile but found his face frozen as he looked at the only girl that he had ever given his heart to. She was beautiful. As always. She looked a little older but in a good way. Un-like most woman age apparently agreed with her.

"Hey" He managed to finally get out as he took a few more steps towards her. He looked away from her gorgeous face and out into the water as he grabbed the smoke in his pocket and lit it. Now was as good of a time as any to get that one step closer to death.

"Hey. I thought you quit" She said as she indicated towards the smoke. She then looked away and also started to stare towards the small lake. She knew that things between them were long over but the butterfly's that were now in her stomach didn't seem to agree with her.

"I never really did" Jess replied. He walked over and took a seat. He wasn't right beside her but close enough. He couldn't help but think about how good she smelt. How good it felt to be this close to her again. On the outside he was stone. But on the inside he was melting.

"Mom told me you were in town. Working on another book?" She asked trying to keep her tone neutral. Having him so close to her was driving her nuts. That was they way it always was with Jess. Seeing him was like seeing a storm up-close.

"Yeah actually. I Umm... Just needed to get away for a bit. Figured I'd come and see Luke" And run away on my wedding day without explaining my self Jess added in his head.

"I'm sure he's happy to see you" Rory said as she smiled brightly and turned to face him. "He misses you."

"Yeah I miss him too" Jess replied with a small smile. "So I read your articles. They are really good."

"Thanks."

"You must love traveling around" Jess said as his foot tapped against the wood of the bridge nervously. Here she was. Rory Gilmore the love of his life. The one girl who made him crazy in all the right ways. Made him want to be better. Better then he was. And that was the problem. He was never really good enough for Rory Gilmore she deserved a prince. Not a toad.

"Yeah I really do" Rory replied. They sat for a few more minutes in silence. Rory couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable. She didn't know what to do or say. "I should get going. I'm meeting mom for lunch at the diner."

"Cool" Jess replied in a simple tone. He looked at her and tried to give her his best friend smile. Problem was he was never really good at smiling when he didn't want to. It always came out wrong when he tried. She waved good-bye and then headed off towards the diner. Jess couldn't help but watch her go. As much as he was feeling like an ass for not thinking about Katie he couldn't help but wonder things about Rory. What book did she just have with her? What type of music does she listen to now? Does she still eat enough food for four? He was sure that last one was still true.

He should be thinking about Katie and what he had done to her. Thinking about what a dick he was. But his head was full of Rory. Which seemed to be the story of his life. But the more he felt and thought about Rory the more he realized he really needed to talk to Katie. At least call her and apologize. He knew that it was better to do this sort of thing in person but he couldn't work up the courage to actually see her. He was afraid of what seeing her would make him feel about himself. That he would feel like an even bigger asshole. "God I'm a selfish bastard."

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"Mom are you okay. You've been quiet all through lunch. And in my experience silence from you is never a good thing?" Rory asked as she looked at her mother. Rory hadn't told her about seeing Jess. She really didn't want to have to talk about him. If she didn't talk about him maybe she would forget about him.

"I have some gossip. But I'm not sure if I should tell you" Lorelai said as she pushed her empty plate aside and looked at her grown up baby girl. She always found it hard to believe that Rory was 27 now and not 12. She was old enough to handle this sort of information now.

"You always tell me. More then I want to know half the time" She replied with a grin.

"Yeah. But Luke didn't really want to tell me, but he did. But I don't think he wants me to tell you" Lorelai told her.

"Yeah but your my mother. Mother's and Daughter's tell each other everything. It in the contract."

"Kid we are so alike" Lorelai said and couldn't help but laugh a little. "Okay so I know why Jess is here."

"Why?" Rory asked as she felt her curiosity peak. She may be telling herself that Jess was in the past but that didn't stop her from wanting to know stuff about him.

"Well. He was meant to get married... Then he didn't. He actually climbed out of a window on the day to escape. Luke told me all he did was leave a note. It was a mess."

"What" Rory said with shock. She couldn't believe it. He was engaged and was meant to be happily married. And running away, she couldn't help but think about how typical of him that was. Running was a side of Jess she knew all to well Jess was with someone long enough to actually get engaged. Rory couldn't believe that knowing this actually made her mad at him. She didn't realize she cared enough to be mad at him anymore. "He just left. What sort of a person does that."

"Well..." Lorelai said as she became a little sad. "I did it. To Max."

"Right. Sorry" Rory said quickly. She had forgotten about that. Lorelai was the most important thing in the world to Rory and she would never intentionally say anything to hurt her. "It's just Jess. He never thinks about how is actions affect others. It was different with you and Max."

"It's okay I know you didn't mean anything by it. And I think Jess cares, or at least Luke thinks he does. Luke said he feels horrible about the whole thing... You know the funny part. Something has happened that I never thought would. I actually understand Jess's feelings. The need to run is something I know all to well. My parents. Every guy I have ever been with except Luke. I never wanted to hurt anyone and I don't think he did either" Lorelai said as she sipped her coffee. She honestly wasn't expecting Rory to get mad at this news. Shocked yes. But mad no. "He was just scared."

"I don't know." Rory said with a sigh. She really wasn't sure what she was more upset about. Jess running, or Jess almost getting married. "I saw him. Not long ago actually."

"How was it?" Lorelai asked. She wasn't going to tell Rory about Jess's feeling for her. It wasn't her place.

"A little awkward. Very neutral. Just the basics" Rory answered. "It kind of brought up old feelings."

Lorelai sat silently for a second just processing everything before asking, "Do you still have feeling for him?"

"No" Rory answered very quickly. "No. I was just remembering that's all. Me and Jess have been over for a long time."

"Right" Lorelai replied. She didn't believe a word of it.

**TBC **

Thanks for reading :)


	4. Pigs Flying

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls

**A/N:** Thanks for your awesome reviews, means the world to me that you guys are enjoying the story so far. Sorry about the no beta thing.

**Chapter 4:** Pigs Flying

Jess had been in Stars Hollow for four days now and the longer he put of calling Katie the harder it became. He almost felt as though the phone was laughing at him and his cowardliness. He had turned his mobile on briefly but shut it off once the massive amounts of text messages started popping up. Apparently a lot of people wanted to talk to him. He looked over at the phone again and felt his breath hitch as he reached out for it.

Once it was in his hands his nerves started to build up even more. His fingers moved slowly as he dialed a number that was long over due to be called. He sat in complete silence as he listened to the phone ring a few times before she finally answered. "Hello."

"Hey Katie" Jess said softly as he closed his eyes dreading what was about to come.

"Jess" He heard her delicate voice whisper.

"Yeah. It's me" He replied. The other end of the phone remanded silent for a few seconds that felt like hours to Jess.

"I don't know what to say" She said to him and Jess reached for his cigarette packet and silently cursed the gods above when he realized the packet was empty.

"There are not enough words to describe how sorry I am" Jess told her. If it had been him he would be yelling and screaming. But that wasn't Katie. She thought her words through before she said them. She never screamed in anger. Her sadness had always been a quiet one.

"What happened?" She asked him.

"I... It was... I don't know how to explain it to you" Jess said as he rubbed his temple and tapped his foot against the hard wood floor of the apartment that was currently his home.

"Just tell me the truth. It's all I want" She said to him. He could hear the desperation in her voice. Her need to know why he had left and embarrassed her like that. Why he had hurt her like that.

"The truth is I'm a screw up. It's what I do" He told her.

"That's bull" She said to him with a slightly raised voice. Not yelling but not normal either. "There has to be a reason Jess. You don't do that to somebody unless there is a reason."

"I don't want to hurt you" He whispered into the phone. And that really was the truth. He didn't want to and never had intended to hurt her.

"You already did" She said in a whisper that he was barely able to hear.

"I'm in love with someone else" He said. And the moment the words left his mouth he wished he hadn't said it.

"You cheated on me" The hurt in her voice almost killed him. He could tell she was crying now.

"No. I never had a physical relationship with anyone while we were together. But I guess you could say emotionally I was always cheating on you. I've known her since I was seventeen. She's always had my heart. I gave it to her and I never really got it back" He said as he wished for a giant black hole to jump into. He had never talked like this before to anyone, not even Luke. But he knew Katie deserved the truth.

Katie laughed bitterly, "I think this is the most open and honest you have ever been with me."

"I'm so sorry."

"I love you Jess. But sorry isn't good enough. Why even let things get as far as they did if you knew the whole time you were in love with someone else?" She waited for his answer. "Well Jess?"

"I don't know Katie. I just wanted to forget her. And you are so special to me. I thought I could make us work." Jess tried to explain but couldn't find the right words. Truthfully he had known the whole time that things between him and Katie would never work out. But he always pushed those feeling to the back of his head in hopes that he could some how forget about Rory.

"I'm special to you" Katie repeated his words in a disbelieving tone. "You used me."

"I know." Jess simply replied. He really didn't know what else to say. She was right. As much as he hated it she was right and he was a pile of scum.

"That's all you have to say. You know. God Jess, I knew you were closed off. I never knew you were heartless." And with that she hung up on him. He sat there looking at the wall as he listened to the dead dial tone coming from the telephone. He had done many horrible things in his time but this was the worst. As much as he loved Rory this was even worse then when he had left her without a word. This was the tip of the Jess being an ass ice berg. 'God I need a smoke' Jess thought to himself.

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"Damn this line is taking forever" Lorelai said to herself as she stood in line at the market. She had felt the need to consume more sugar and was currently holding a basket full of sweet treats. She saw Jess walk in and automatically walk towards the rather large line of people. She couldn't help but notice how bad he looked. She smiled at him and gave him points for the attempted smile he sent back. "I've been in this line for 15 minutes already."

"Yeah" He replied as he fidgeted with his wallet and looked at the huge line in front of him with an annoyed gaze.

"What are you buying?" Lorelai asked trying to make conversation.

"Smokes... I really need smokes."

"Right" Lorelai said as she took a bite out of one of her marshmallows and sighed. They both stood in silence as they waited for their turn. Lorelai felt relief wash over her when she finally got to the front of the line. She paid for her items and was about to walk out until she decided she needed to say something to Jess. Anything. The guy looked so sad and lost. "Jess, we all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them. I know how cliche that sounds but it's true."

"Ok" Jess replied. He didn't know what to say back. He and Lorelai had definitely come along way over the years. Especially now that she was married to Luke they seemed to have a new found respect for each other. But she had never said anything like this to him before.

"I've had loads of experience in disappointing people. So If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here." Lorelai said and she saw the un-sure look the crossed Jess's face. "I mean it. I know you have Luke. But sometimes its good to talk to someone who has gone through the same sort of thing that your going through... Anyway we're holding up the line so I should get going. But you know where I live."

"Thanks" Jess said in a confused voice as he watched her go. He was almost tempted to go out side and see if there were any pigs flying in the sky. Cause he was sure that had more of a chance of happening then Lorelai offering to talk about his issues. He had already assumed that Luke would tell her why he was here. He also knew that he was only a matter of time before Rory found out. He really wasn't sure how that was going to go.

"Sir! What can I get you" The cashier said in a hostile voice as she interrupted him from his thoughts.

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"Your wife is insane" Jess said to Luke later on that day. Jess was sitting at the counter of the diner with his laptop in front of him. He was trying to write but he was suffering a major case of writes block at the moment. He thought talking to Katie would be a good thing now he was wishing he hadn't called her at all.

"What?" Luke asked confused. Jess has been a bad mood since he returned to the diner. Luke wasn't stupid enough to ask him what was wrong. Jess had already reveled quite a bit to Luke in the past few days which was a miracle in it self. Luke didn't want to push his luck.

"Lorelai went completely maternal on me in the market. It was weird" Jess said. Jess had found the whole experience with Lorelai to be odd. Lorelai never had much love for him. Which was understandable considering what he was like to her. But he was un-sure of her sudden willingness to help him through his issues. Jess barely liked talking to people he knew well, let alone someone who hated him up until a few years ago.

"Maternal. Really" Luke said as he thought about it. "Well that sort of makes sense. I mean you two are family now."

"It was unexpected and strange" Jess simply replied in a slightly agitated voice.

"I will never understand this part of you Jess. The moment someone is nice to you or extends a hand you get annoyed and defensive. Like you think they are after something. People are sometimes nice to you, simply because they are a nice person" Luke said in a frustrated tone. Sometimes Jess pissed him off so much he just wanted to grab one of his frying pans and knock him over the head with it.

"Hello boys" Lorelai said happily as she walked into the diner and took a seat at the counter. Luke smiled and poured her a coffee just as some more customers walked in.

"I'll be back."

"Hi Lorelai" Jess said To her.

"Hey" Lorelai said back before gulping down her coffee. She reached for Luke's pot and poured her self another.

Jess just looked over at Lorelai as he thought about what Luke had said to him. It was true. The moment someone was nice to him he turned into a prick. He didn't really know why he did it. Old habit from his childhood. You learnt quickly in New York to never take niceness at face value. "So I wanted to say thanks. For what you said before. It was really... Nice."

"I meant it. Jess I know we have had our issues but I know deep down your not a bad person. You've just made some bad chooses. Like breaking my daughters heart for instance." Lorelai said.

"Yeah... I really regret that" Jess said honestly.

"Who could blame you. Rory's great. Any guy would feel like an idiot for leaving her" Lorelai said with a slight smile. Oh how she loved to sing Rory's praise.

"Does she know?" Jess asked.

"About the wedding mess. Yeah. I told her" Lorelai said and hoped that this fact wouldn't ruin the somewhat pleasant presence they had between them.

"I figured as much. What did she think?" Jess asked.

"It actually kind of brought back old memory's for her. She was a little mad" Lorelai said as she smiled on the inside. She knew her daughter still had feelings for Jess. She wouldn't have cared so much if she didn't. The whole thing had just bothered Rory to much.

"Mad" Jess said confused. "Why was she mad?"

"Well Jess. As we have already established you left her. You ran. And now you have done it again." Lorelai explained.

"But not to her."

"Yeah. But it's all just reminded her of how she felt back then. And no surprise but she was pretty angry" Lorelai said as she watched him. His face for once was like an open book. She could see the look in his eyes every time Rory was mentioned. He was in love. Lorelai wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

"So how come your being so nice to me?" Jess asked. He was intrigued to why she was being so honest with him about Rory. There was bad blood between them when it came to that subject.

"Well for one your Luke's nephew. Two we are now related. And truthfully I don't think your that kid anymore. The one with the bad attitude who was too stubborn for his own good. And anyway Rory doesn't really have any friends her own age other then Lane anymore. She works to much. I think it would be nice if she had someone else to talk too. Even it was just about books and music. My baby girl needs to get a life" Lorelai laughed. Truth was the idea of Jess being in Rory's life again scared her a little. But she knew deep down that Rory really did need to get a life. All she did was work and that made Lorelai sad. She wanted Rory to live life not just watch it pass her by.

"She's not the only one. Other then writing the only thing I had in my life was Katie... And I blew that" He told her with a small smile.

"You just have to move on what's done is done. What counts is what you do now" Lorelai said. She liked this inspirational part of her personality, it made her feel like one of those motivational speakers from TV.

"I hate customers" Luke growled as he walked back over to them.

"I'm a customer you don't hate me do you?" Lorelai asked.

"Your not a customer. Customer's pay. You don't" Luke replied.

"I am so a customer. I just pay in other ways" Lorelai giggled as she smiled slyly at Luke.

"I really, really don't need to hear this. Is Rory home?" Jess asked. He wanted to see her. Talk to her. He wasn't really sure about what he just knew he needed to be around her.

"Yeah" Lorelai replied. Jess just nodded as he got up and headed out of the diner.

"Do you think him going to see Rory is the best idea?" Luke asked Lorelai.

"They are adults now Luke. They can do what they want. And besides. You can't fight fate and I have a feeling this is going to happen" Lorelai said as she looked at Luke lovingly. "Like us."

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Jess knocked on her front door and waited nervously for her to answer. He had been thinking about what he wanted to say on his walk over here and he really hadn't come up with anything. As always there was just something about Rory that made his mind turn to mush. He always felt out of control when he was around her. He never knew how he was going to react.

Rory opened the door and Jess gave her a small smile. "Hi" She said in a not so pleasant tone.

"Hey Rory. I was board and really didn't want to hear your mom and Luke talk dirty to each other so I figured I would see what your up to" He kept his voice calm but it wasn't how he was feeling. As always the moment he looked at her he turned into a hormonal teenager.

"I was just reading" She said. Jess couldn't help but notice how irritated she seemed from his presence.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked her getting a little irritated himself.

"Nothing. I just can't believe what you did" She said as she looked at him with cold eyes. She knew she had no reason to be pissed off at him but she couldn't help it. She was taking this personally even though it had nothing to do with her.

"Well that's none of your business" Jess said slowly.

"I know. But still Jess. Your twenty seven years old when are you going to start acting like it." Rory said. It was like word vomit. And it just kept on coming, "I can not believe you climbed out of a window to get out of your own wedding. If you didn't want to marry the poor girl you just should have told her. And what about her. What you did was so cruel."

"You don't know anything about what happened Rory so shut up!" Jess yelled at her. This was the problem with him and Rory. It was always extreme. Extreme lust, love and anger. Plus he wasn't to most well tempered guy. "You have no right to tell me about what I've done wrong!"

"Don't yell at me. It's not my fault you and the window got a little to close!" Rory shouted back. She couldn't believe after all these years he could still bring out this side of her. God he was good at making her beyond mad.

"Jesus Rory. You don't know me anymore so stop judging me!"

"Well It's a free country people can judge whomever they want!"

"God you haven't changed a bit!"

"What's that supposed to mean!"

"Princess Rory. Always feels like she's above every one else!"

"How dare you!"

"Your not perfect. I've never stolen a boat, have you?" Jess asked. Rory just stood there silently. She couldn't believe the things they were saying to each other. They were acting like children.

Jess wasn't sure why. But he had the strongest urge to kiss her. Which was a common thing for him. But this time he acted on it. He took a step closer to her and leaned in. He was so close to her that he could smell her peach shampoo. He felt his body twitch with anticipation. Their lips were just inch away from each other. He was finally going taste her again. He was going to kiss Rory Gilmore.

"Ah Jess" Rory said as she stepped away from him with wide eyes as she realized what had just almost happened. "Did you just try to kiss me?"

**TBC**

As always thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always appreciated :)


	5. Say Anything

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for the rocking reviews! Makes me feel all good when I know people are enjoying. Just a little side note, I thought I might address the fact the Lorelai and Jess are getting along in this story. I realize it's a bit of a reach but they are actually my favorite characters in the show and I always wished they could have got along, so I make it so in my fanfictions lol. No beta sorry for any errors.

Anyways on with the story...

**Chapter 5:** Say Anything

"Ah Jess" Rory said as she stepped away from him with wide eyes as she realized what had just almost happened. "Did you just try to kiss me?"

"...No" Jess said as he stumbled backwards a little. He felt as though he was drunk. And in away he was, booze just wasn't the culprit. "Why would I do that."

"It seemed as though you wanted to kiss me. You were like an inch away from my face" Rory said obviously. One thing Rory Gilmore was not was stupid. She knew what had almost just taken place. She also knew that deep down a part of her wished it had happened and she had not backed away when she did.

"I just... I don't know. I have to go" Jess said as he quickly walked away. He was so tempted to turn around and just get one more look at her but decided against it. He couldn't believe that he had just done that. He was freak. It was obvious he had just tried to kiss her so he had no idea why he was denying it like a stupid idiot. But admitting to Rory that he had just tried to kiss he would be the same as admitting he still had feeling for her and he wasn't willing or ready to do that.

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"Hey, Lorelai wanted to let you know your welcome to come over and have dinner with us" Luke told Jess later on that night. Jess had come straight back to the diner and had went up-stairs after the whole thing with Rory had happened. He still didn't know what had come over him. One second they had been screaming at each other and the next second all he wanted was to feel her.

"Thanks but no" Jess replied as he continued pretending that he was reading the book that was open in his hands. When he was reading people were more inclined to just leave him alone.

"Okay" Luke replied. He had noticed Jess's bad mood ever since he had returned from his and Lorelai's place. It didn't take a brain surgeon to work out that something had happened. But Jess was really not in a sharing mood. Luke just nodded as he left Jess alone with his thoughts.

Jess sighed with relief when Luke finally left. He just wasn't in the mood to be around anyone. He really hoped Rory didn't hate him after his little kissing attempt. He really hoped she didn't hate him for anything at all. He really couldn't understand why she had been so mad at him. They had not been in each others lives for years, what he did or didn't do shouldn't bother her at all. He knew he hurt her back when they were young but that was years ago. She had been fine at the wedding. So what had changed.

Jess was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his phone ring. After his call to Katie he had turned it back on but was ignoring all of his calls. He looked at caller ID and saw that it was Ted his editor. He sighed as he answered the phone. "Hello."

"Jess. How is my little writer going?" Ted asked and Jess rolled his eyes.

"Fine" Jess replied.

"Well I just wanted to know how the book was coming?"

"Really good" Jess lied. Truth was he was so busy thinking about Rory he couldn't seem to concentrate on his work. He was originally meant to be working on it while he was on his honeymoon but that hadn't happened.

"Do you think you could e-mail me all the new stuff you have."

"Ah... Just let me fine tune it all first. I'll have it to you in the next few days" Jess said. As usual his voice was like a stone but on the inside he was almost having a heart attack. He just couldn't write at the moment. He was feeling all over the place and every time he sat down his mind just would not stay focused. It just wasn't happening for him. And Ted was not exactly a patient guy.

"Good. Can't wait to read" Ted said simply as he hung up. That was the way it always was with Ted. He had never been a fan of small talk.

Jess just laid his head down on the table in front of him and closed his eyes. He didn't know when he had become this guy. The guy that fell about because of a woman. This was becoming ridiculous. He needed to sort this all out so that he had least could do his work. He needed some sort of inner peace. He may not have been ready to tell Rory about his feelings for her, but he needed to.

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Rory had been surprised when she received a text message from Jess asking her to meet him on the bridge. She wasn't sure if them seeing each other at the moment was the best thing. But she had replied and said she would be there. And now that she was, she was feeling a little off. She always felt a little off around Jess. Not in a bad way, but still.

"Hey. Thanks for coming" Jess said as he walked over to her. He stopped when he was about two meters away from, he figured that was a safe distance.

"That's okay" She replied. She refused to let this become another childish fight between them. They were both adults now and she was sure they could act like them if they tried hard enough.

"Look. I'm sorry about earlier. I've been all over the place lately" Jess told her. He didn't know what he was going to say to her he just knew this thing needed to be sorted out.

"Your not the only one. To be honest with you I have been acting a little weird myself" Rory said truthfully. She just didn't mention the fact that him being here was what was making her act like a weirdo.

"Why?" Jess asked her as he looked at her. She couldn't help but notice how amazing his eyes were. When she was younger she had loved looking into them.

"I guess I've just been working to hard" Rory said.

"Yeah have to opposite problem. I can't seem to work no matter how hard I try" Jess told her. He thought maybe by mentioning this he could slowly bring the subject of them up.

"Really why?" And there it was. All he had to do was tell her the reason he can't work is because he can't stop thinking about her and her heavenly face. He just had to tell the truth.

"I can't stop thinking about..." Jess started.

"Katie" Rory finished for him in a sad voice.

"Yeah" Jess said so suddenly that he couldn't even stop him self from saying it. Then Jess realized he had never told her Katie's name. "How did you know her name?"

"I asked Luke" Rory replied. There was no use lying about it. She had been interested and asked Luke what he knew. He had only known what had happened at the wedding and her name. He wasn't exactly a river of information.

"Oh" Jess simply replied as he looked away. He had wanted to tell Rory about his feeling for her and now they were talking about his ex. This was not going the way he had planned.

"So have you talked to her?" Rory asked him. She figured maybe he needed someone to talk to and that's why he had asked her here. Maybe he needed a friend. She just wasn't sure of being Jess's friend was something she could do.

"Yeah. She hung up on me" Jess replied.

"Do you blame her?" Rory asked.

"No" Jess answered with a small laugh. "I really know how to screw up don't I."

"You do seem to have a talent for it" Rory said with a small smile. Rory couldn't help but be a little jealous as she saw him thinking about the girl he was meant to marry. She actually wished he was thinking about her. That he would be thinking about kissing her again. Rory was slowly realizing that all her feelings about Jess from the past weren't just in the past. "It will be okay."

"Yeah I guess" Jess tried to smile. "You know I've really missed you Rory."

"I've really missed you too" Rory said as she took a step closer to him. "I read your books you know. I love them. And when Im reading them I almost feel like I'm hearing your thoughts. They are just so you, but in away more. They are just so honest."

Jess was a little taken back with her words. People had complemented him on his writing before but it meant more coming from her. "Thank-you. Your the reason I wrote them. I don't think I would be where I am now if it wasn't for you" Almost literally he thought.

"I think it was fate" Rory disagreed. She knew that she had nothing to do with his writing. He would have done with or without her. He was meant to be a writer.

"Rory... Do you want to know the truth?" Jess asked her. It was now or never.

"Yes" Rory wasn't quite sure what he was referring to but she always wanted to know what Jess had to say.

"I didn't get married because I couldn't stop thinking about you" Jess stopped and looked to see her reaction. She hadn't made a move or sound. "I am still in love with you". Jess couldn't believe it had just said it finally. It was like a giant house was being lifted off his chest. And when he saw the look of shock on her face it felt as though an even bigger house was now sitting on his chest while he waited for her to say something. Say anything.

"... You tried to kiss me" Rory said. Her brain had just shut down on her. She honestly didn't think she would hear him say that when she had told him yes to knowing the truth.

"That is correct" Jess said in an un-sure tone. He really had no idea what was going on in her mind right now.

"Because you love me" Rory said with a stunned voice. She knew she sounded like an idiot right now but it seemed to be out of her control.

"That is also correct" Jess replied. He was starting to get very uncomfortable. Normally he would have taken off right after he told her he was still in love with her. He would have walked away because honestly he was afraid of what she would say. He had always been afraid Of Rory. Scared that she wouldn't say what he wanted to hear. But he didn't want to run away this time. He finally wanted to see how this conversation ended. He just needed to know.

"I..." Rory didn't know what to do or say. Deep down she wanted to tell him the truth. That she loved him too. That in a way she had always loved him. But she couldn't she didn't know why but she froze in the spot. "I have to go."

"Wait!" Jess yelled out as she turned around and bolted away. But she didn't stop. She just kept running until he couldn't see her anymore. He stood there silently for a moment as he let his feeling catch up to his eyes. He wondered if this how she had felt every time he had walked away. Because if it was he was an even bigger ass then he had realized.

**TBC**

As always thanks for reading. And reviews are always appreciated


	6. Coffee And A Chat

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls

**A/N: **Thanks for your reviews

**Chapter 6: **Coffee And A Chat

Jess had not seen or heard from Rory in three days. He had also been keeping to himself. He had locked him self up stairs above the diner and forced himself to write. Ted wasn't all that impressed with the pages he had sent him. Ted had told him they seemed rushed and un-focused. Jess knew that he was right. But there was nothing he could do about that at the moment. If the words weren't coming then they just weren't.

He wasn't sure what he was feeling right now. A part of him was a little angry at Rory for just walking away like she did. And the other part of him found it almost poetic that he now knew how it felt. He guessed that this was apart of his bad karma that he had worked up over the years. All the wrong things he did in his past and present were now biting him in the ass.

But now he was here in the Gilmore house. Sitting down at the dining room table while watching Lorelai brew coffee. He had needed to talk to someone and decided to finally take Lorelai up on her offer. He wasn't sure how much Rory had told her. But Lorelai hadn't mentioned anything yet. Rory was over at Lane's which was a relief and a disappointment.

"Here you go" Lorelai said with a grin as she placed a coffee in front of him and then sat down across from him. They just sat there looking at each other for a while. "Umm Jess. When you ask someone if you can talk to them. You generally have to speak to get the outcome you desire."

"Right" Jess said as he snapped out of his thoughts. "Well. I'm having problems writing. I guess it's cause I have a lot of un-resolved issues with Katie and..." Jess wasn't sure of he should continue.

"Rory" Lorelai finished for him. She had to admit, she never thought she would see the day her and Jess sat down for a cup of coffee and a chat. Especially a chat about Rory.

"Yeah" Jess said quietly. He was suddenly finding his coffee mug very interesting.

"Luke told me" Lorelai explained. "But I would have figured it out."

"She's just so... Rory" Jess couldn't find the words to describe her. There were no words. She was just so special to him, he knew that he would always love her. Real love never really went away.

"Have you told her how you feel?" Lorelai asked him. Rory had been rather quiet the last few days and for some reason wasn't talking. But Lorelai had a feeling something had happened.

"Yeah. She was a little shocked and then she couldn't get away quick enough" Jess told her as he ran his hand through his hair.

"I guess she was just a little floored. There has been a lot of new information coming in lately. Especially with you and your almost wedding."

"Yes. Things have been really messed up lately" Jess said as he thought about it. Things were changing so fast. In the last few days he had lost someone special to him. Become closer to Lorelai and confess his love for Rory. His career was going down in flames and his editor was one step away from killing him. Things were not so great at the moment.

"You need to deal with one thing at time. First of, Rory. You need to just let it happen. She will come and talk to you when she is ready. There is no use rushing her that will not help the situation" Lorelai said to him as she sipped her coffee. "As for your writing. I'm not sure."

"Neither am I. I think my mind is just to scattered at the moment" Jess said to her.

"You need to let go of everything bothering you" Lorelai told him. And it was true thinking about everything over and over wasn't going to fix things. There was no need for him to drive himself insane.

"Let go. It's kind of hard to let go of the fact that you broke someone's heart and person you want to be with runs away from you when you tell them you love them" Jess said in an annoyed tone.

"Look. Katie also needs time. She needs to get over you and everything that happened. After some time she might be able to forgive you. You might even be friends you never know. But everything is still so fresh for her, you hurt her Jess. Now you have to live with that" Lorelai told him. She knew how he felt. What she did to Max had never sat well with her but she eventually leaned to live with it. "And as for Rory what did you expect."

"I don't know" Jess answered. He really didn't know what he had expected. He had thought she would at least want to talk to him. Even if it was to tell him that he was crazy and that they were long over. But her leaving him with nothing had hurt. More then he would like to admit. Which made him feel even worse then he already did because he himself had done the same thing many times.

"Time Jess. That's the only answer I have for you" Lorelai said as she smiled at him reassuringly.

"Which I agree with. But sadly my editor isn't a patient guy. He wants results and he wants them now" Jess replied.

"Well... I don't know. Me and words aren't exactly the best match" Lorelai said to him. She wished she could be more help but she honestly didn't know the cure for writer's block.

"It's all good. I'll work it out. I always do" Jess said. He wasn't sure is he believed it but it felt good to say.

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"Luke. Do you need help?" Jess asked later on that day. He had walked into a very packed diner. Luke was rushing around and was obviously over run.

"It's my new guys day off" Luke said in a gruff voice. "I don't know why so many damn people are hungry today."

"Is that a yes, you need help" Jess replied with a smirk. He wasn't going to help until Luke asked for it.

"Yes Jess. I need help. Do you mind?"

"Not at all" Jess answered in a cocky voice as he grabbed a pen from his pocked and an order book.

After about two hours things finally died down. Jess was very grateful it had been a long time since he had done this sort of work. He forgot how much your feet hurt afterwards. He was wiping down the counter when he saw her walk in. Rory's head was down looking at the floor. He could tell she was nervous. And he hated the fact that it was him that had caused her what she was going through right now.

Rory knew he was in here. She saw him through the window. She figured it was about time she came and broke the ice. She hadn't known what to say after his little love confession. He had just caught her off guard. After all only days earlier he was meant to get married to a woman that wasn't her. So him professing his love for her was the last thing she thought would happen. She slowly approached the counter and sat down on a stool. She was surprised when he walked over to where she was from the other side of the counter.

"Coffee" Jess said as he picked up a mug and placed it in front of her.

"Thanks" Rory said as she tried to smile. She wasn't sure how it came out but at least she had tried.

"What are you reading?" Jess asked as he nodded to her bag. He knew there was a book of some sort in there.

"Your second book actually" Rory said feeling a little more confident. Jess seemed to be acting normal which was a huge relief to her. She wasn't in the right mind to handle any weird behavior.

"I'm sure you could find something better to read then that" Jess said with a smirk. He knew Rory well enough to know if he just acted like everything was fine with her then she would most likely not run away from him again. He just wanted to be around her and if that meant just being her friend then that was something he would have to get used to.

"I've read it so many times. It's far more enjoyable then Hemmingway" Rory said with a small smile. She knew that comment would annoy him more then it would flatter him.

"You still can't appreciate a classic I see" Jess said but he couldn't help but smile at the throw back to their youth.

"So how did Luke get you to do this?" Rory asked. She really loved the fact that they were having a conversation that was just nice and casual. No pressure or yelling. Maybe they were adults now after all.

"I offered."

"Oh how things change" Rory said. "And your not wearing a Metellica T-shirt or a backwards baseball cap. You've grown up."

"...Maybe" Jess replied as he thought about it. When he thought about it he couldn't believe how different he was. At the same time he sometimes felt as though he had barely changed at all. Life was funny like that.

"So my mom said you had coffee with her today. What's going on with that?" Rory asked. She really found it hard to believe how well she and Jess seemed to be getting along. Jess wasn't the only one who had changed. Apparently with marriage her mother had also become more excepting of people. She even got along with her mom and dad better now then she used to. Lorelai Gilmore had also grown up.

"Honestly I have no idea" Jess laughed. After all him and Lorelai having coffee was quite an amusing thought. "She's really nice to me. It's weird but I like it. It seems to make Luke happy as well which is good."

"Yeah it is" Rory agreed. "Hey we're having a movie night tomorrow night, do you want to come?"

"Umm. Okay" Jess answered. He wasn't sure why she was inviting him. Maybe she wanted to be friends and thought this would be a nice way to show it. Her mom would be there so it definitely wasn't a date. That was a little disappointing but anytime with Rory was time well spent.

"Great" Rory said happily. She wasn't sure why but the urge to invite him had just sprung up on her and who was she to argue with her self. She wanted to see more of him. After all she was only in town for just a little over two more weeks and she had no idea when he was leaving. They might not see each other again for a while. She wanted to make the most of it. She just wasn't sure if she wanted it to be as more then friends.

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"Mom!" Rory shouted as she walked into the house. "I'm home and I have coffee."

"Coffee" Lorelai said as she ran into the living room. She hugged Rory happily and then took the coffee she offered her. "Your a good daughter. You know how to take care of mommy."

"Well if I really cared I would have just got the pure stuff and poured it down your throat" Rory replied.

"Nothing says love like almost chocking mommy to death with caffeine" Lorelai said as she thought about it. "That wouldn't be a bad way to go."

"Mom!" Rory said in a high pitched voice. "I don't want to talk about your death."

"Fine" Lorelai replied. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Movie night. We have to make sure with have enough candy and stuff for three" Rory told her.

"Why? Did you convince Luke to join us. Cause I've been trying all day and he won't budge. Says he has to work and make money. I was like 'what do you need money for anyways' and then he was like 'to live' so I said 'Live. Why bother when you can watch a star is born' he really wasn't interested."

"No not Luke. Jess is coming" Rory answered as she moved towards the kitchen. She was really hoping her nosy mother wouldn't read to much into this and make it out to be a bigger deal then it was.

"Really" Lorelai said in a knowing tone.

"Yep" Rory simply replied as she opened up the fridge. "You know ever since Luke moved in we always have food in here. It's strange."

"Your changing the subject" Lorelai told her. Lorelai could tell Rory still had feelings for Jess. It was written all over her face. But she also knew Rory seemed to be in some sort of denial.

"Yes I am" Rory replied. She knew there was no use denying it, her mother knew her far to well.

"Okay. I'll let it slide... For now."

"Thank-you" Rory said as she looked up at her. "Now do we want pop tarts or cherry pie?"

"Let me think. I'd say we want both" Lorelai said as she grinned. They owed so much to good DNA.

"Done and done" Rory said as she grabbed both packets.

**TBC**

As always thanks for reading :)


	7. Beam Me Up

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls

**A/N:** Thanks for your reviews

**Chapter 7:** Beam Me Up

"Star Trek... Mom why on earth did you rent this?" Rory asked as she picked up the DVD and frowned. She almost wanted to giggle when she saw the little space ship type thing on the cover.

"That's not for movie night. Well not exactly. I'm planning on putting it on at 10. Luke said he would be home just a little after, so I figured when he walks in we can tease him about his Trek days, T-shirts and what not" Lorelai explained with an evil grin.

"Your a wicked lady. Remind me to never get on your bad side" Rory said as she put the DVD case down and smiled. Her mom loved teasing Luke, it was really rather funny. But she could tell Luke loved it as well. They had a great chemistry together.

"So we have movies, we have enough candy to leave us sick for weeks, we have pillows and we have me and you. All we need now is a Jess" Lorelai said as her eyes roamed over the living room making sure nothing was forgotten. She was never one to make lists but sometimes she considered it for her movie nights.

"He should be here soon" Rory told her as she sat down. She still wasn't sure what she felt about him. She knew she still had feelings for him but she didn't know if him and her was the best idea. Things always seemed to go wrong with them. As she was thinking there was a knock on the door. Lorelai walked over to it and smiled as she opened it.

"Hello grasshopper" Lorelai said and Jess looked at her confused. "Movie reference. Thank god you are here. You need education."

"Thank god" Jess repeated nervously as he walked in. He smiled at Rory and she smiled back. His knee's always went a little weak when he saw her. Almost as if she were a drug or something, she just had the kind of an effect on him. He had been preparing himself for this all day. He wasn't going to make a jack ass at of himself. He wasn't going to act like a love sick teen. "Wow... That's a lot of candy. I mean I was expecting a lot but this is something."

"I know isn't it great" Lorelai said and giggled a little. Jess noticed how young she looked. Lorelai was a good looking woman for her age and Rory had been blessed with her good DNA.

"And it's all organized so you can find exactly what you want without having to look for it" Rory added.

"I can see that" Jess said as he looked at it. He was sure Rory had been the one to place the candy around the coffee table. He could just tell from the way it was set up. It all screamed Rory Gilmore.

"So now that your here we should decide what to watch first. I'm thinking either Midnight Cowboy or A Star Is Born" Lorelai said as she held up both the cases.

"Midnight Cowboy" Jess said quickly. He really wanted to avoid the second movie. Jess sat down on the couch leaving enough space between him and Rory for Lorelai to seat in between them. He really didn't think he could handle sitting next to Rory for a large amount of time. But his plans were ruined when Lorelai sat on the floor after putting the movie in. He sighed to himself and readjusted his body into a more comfortable position. He could handle this.

Rory couldn't help but think of how close she and Jess were. She had a good idea that her mother had sat on the floor on purpose just to make Rory and Jess both suffer. She was after all and evil mastermind. It was hard thinking straight when he was so near by. She could actually smell the left over sent of cigarette on him. Which would normally annoy her but when it came to Jess she almost liked the smell just because it was his. If this was how her brain was going to think all evening then this was going to be a long night.

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Jess was trying to watch the movie but he really wasn't succeeding. He had spent the last hour and a half glancing out Rory when ever he was sure she wouldn't notice. He knew he was being a love sick puppy but he couldn't help. She was just irresistible. As usual his brain was only thinking about her and her alone. Rory Gilmore, the girl that he couldn't forget. He was beginning to think his whole idea of just being her friend really wasn't going to work out. After all if he couldn't seat next to her for an hour with out losing then how was he supposed to keep a friendship with her platonic.

"I'm going to go get more soda any one else want?" Lorelai asked as she struggled to get up from her spot off the floor. 'Man I hate moving' She thought to herself.

"Yeah" Rory said as she held out her empty glass.

"Yeah, thanks" Jess said. He had been a little startled when she had asked. He had been deep in thought.

When Lorelai went into the kitchen Jess wasn't sure if he should start talking or not. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and then decided he was going to go out and have a smoke. "I'm just going to go outside for a second."

"Have a smoke" Rory said with a small smirk. She could tell he didn't want her to know what he was doing. After all she had never liked his smoking.

"Yeah" Jess said.

"You should just stay here and never have another cancer stick again" Rory said as she looked at him. "You have to look after your self."

Jess smirked as he pointed to the coffee table. Half of the junk food was gone already and he hadn't had a single bit. "You call that looking after yourself."

"... You have a point but candy and cigarettes are two completely different things."

"Okay then I'll stay here" Jess said as he smiled to himself. She didn't want him to smoke that had to mean she cared about, even if it was just a little bit.

Rory was wrestling with her self on weather or not she wanted to talk to Jess about what had happened the other day. She wasn't sure if she should tell him that she cared about him to. "Hey Jess..."

"O my god it's 10 we have to change movies" Lorelai interrupted as she came rushing back into the living room. She placed the drinks on the coffee table and then rushed over to the DVD player.

"Star Trek" Jess said with a raised eye brow.

"Yeah. Your uncle used to be a trekie. Now we have to tease him... Cause it's fun" Lorelai said with a sparkle in her eye as she started the movie up. All three of them just looked at the screen with looks of wonder. Lorelai still couldn't believe Luke liked this.

"Well... This is odd" Rory commented.

"There's a lot of space and stars and stuff" Jess added.

"That dude has cool ears" Lorelai said with a giggle as she sat down in the floor and crossed her legs. After about 10 minutes Luke came through the door. He was carrying take out bags. "Hi honey. Look it's your intergalactic friends" Lorelai said with a grin as she pointed at the TV.

"What?" Luke said confused as he looked over at the TV. He knew what they were watching immediately. "Why are you watching Star Trek?"

"We put it on just for you uncle Luke. If you want to run up to your room and grab your Vulcan ears we'll understand" Jess said with a smile.

"Or if you feel the urge to stand in the middle of the room and shout beam me up Scotty. We would be cool with that also" Rory added she was also smiling. Luke was just death glaring them.

"For your birthday this yeah I think I'll buy you one of those cute little uniforms" Lorelai told him.

"You know I brought you guys back some burgers and fries from the diner. I did this cause I can be a nice guy when I want to be. But now it all going in the bin and the next time a spider comes in you can try and beam it away" Luke said in a gruff voice.

"You want to have William Shatners babies" Lorelai said in a child like voice.

"Now I really am taking the food away... And I even brought Chocolate cake" Luke replied a satisfied grin on his face when he saw the look of disappointment on Lorelai's face.

"Don't be like that baby. Please give us the fries and cake" Lorelai said to him as she gave him her best puppy dog eyes look.

"Nup. Think I might head up stairs and get my Vulcan ears" Luke said sarcastically as he headed away from them.

"We're sorry Luke!" Rory called after him. "Can we have the food now!"

"No!" Luke called back.

"But I'm hungry" Lorelai said in a whiney voice.

----------------------------------------------------

After much debate Luke finally relented and gave them the junk food he had brought. Jess couldn't believe how fast the girls had packed it away. It really wasn't natural how thin they were. Now he was out the front of the house getting ready to leave. Rory was standing at the door smiling awkwardly out him. "This was fun."

"Yeah it was" Jess agreed with her. "Your mother really is funny."

"I know. It's kind of great" Rory said. "So I'm glad you came."

"Thanks for inviting me" Jess said as he waited for her to head back inside. Instead she just stood there looking like there was something she wanted to say. He just watched her and waited. A good few minutes of silence passed between them.

"Jess..." Rory started but she didn't know what to say. After a few more seconds she took a few steps over towards him. Jess had no idea what was happening. One second he was just standing there looking at the most beautiful girl in the world and then all of a sudden he felt her lips on his. It took a moment to realize what was happening but once he did he jumped right into the kiss. It was heated and passionate and hands were all over the place. It was like a dream come true. He didn't know how one person's lips could be so soft and yet so forceful all at the same time. And when he ran his tongue along hers he felt his whole body tingle with excitement.

And then suddenly she stopped kissing him and backed away slowly. Her hand was pressed on her lips and a look of shock was written clearly across her face. "Thanks again for coming" She said and then she walked back into the house and closed the door.

Jess just stood there frozen. He was rather confused at the moment. A part of him just wanted to walk into the house and ask what the hell that was. But he knew better then that. Rory obviously had no idea what she was doing or what she wanted. The problem was every time something like this happened it got his hopes up, only to have them crash down again. He was going to take Lorelai's earlier advise and just give her some space.

He knew it would be a sleepless night spent thinking about Rory's sweet lips. Sometimes being in love really sucked.

**TBC**

Thanks for reading. Just a little advanced warning. There will be a little bit of Katie in the next chapter. I feel as though there needs to be more closure there before the story can progress. :)


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